Balancing Act

This weekend was a blur of activity bookended by visits with both of my brothers. We met my youngest brother and sister-in-law for a clam pie at Pepe’s Pizza, a local favorite. The conversation was light, jokes were made (sometimes, okay usually, at one of our expenses), catching up with one another was done and a lot of pizza eaten. It was good, as always, and loaded with garlic. On Monday, Memorial Day, my brother from NY took the train to CT and we hung out on Bill’s deck all afternoon into the evening. More light conversation, more jokes and laughs and, of course, more food.

Bill doesn’t live far from a very busy road and shopping mall but once you turn the corner onto his street you’d never know it. Trees line the dead-end and woods surround the neighborhood. A stream runs along the side of his house originating from a pond tucked back in the woods. Sometimes, if it’s quiet motorcycle engines and car horns can be heard from the main drag but they are muted against the backdrop of peepers and crickets. A couple of weeks ago Bill and I watched from behind his dining room sliding glass doors as five deer cut through his back yard. A fox followed shortly thereafter. The deer crossing is a common occurence; walking thru the yard they are easy to spot but once they hop into the woods they are quickly camouflaged. I’ll lose sight of them until I see the flicker of a white tail or another quick movement.  One day last Spring as we lounged in the yard reading our books two baby fox played nearby, one chasing the other. We spotted the babies and mama a few more times before they moved on. Last night the bats came out crisscrossing each other in the dusk.

In the two days between these visits there were the usual errands to run, chores, housecleaning, laundry, food shopping and prep; there were also bike rides and picnics with friends. I packed as much as I could into my three-day weekend and enjoyed every minute of it. But today, first day back to work, I felt a little restless, antsy, fantasizing about the next event, the next trip, the next excursion somewhere. At the same time I had the polar opposite feeling of needing to slow down, recharge, be quiet, be by myself. That’s me.

Tonight I sat quietly, read a couple of sections from a book of Buddhist teachings and relaxed. I made a salad for dinner and one for lunch tomorrow. That, and posting here, was the extent of the work I did tonight. I’m still learning when to move and when to be still, when to plan and when to quiet my mind. It’s all a balancing act for me and one I’ll probably always have to work on.

Anyone else ever feel this way?

 

Categories: Musings

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